Kamis, 08 Mei 2008

Goddamn stupid reporters - and a persistent pain

(Meant to post this a gazillion years ago but didn't finish writing it...)

Thanks to blog readers for informing me about yesterday's a long time ago's tiny news coverage about me!!

Basically, the Fash Hag, an anonymous, often sarcastic writer (is she? I'm guessing from the two or so times she wrote about me... maybe she ain't sarcastic to everyone) thinks I should "live and let live" regarding the Bintan blog entry, and not have so cruelly (to some undeserving conglomerate?) wrote about about the resort.

To the Fash Hag, I think you have completely missed the point of my blog entry.

It is not to spitefully cause less sales for Angsana Resort, but to warn innocent travellers not to go to that particular place!

That, my dear, is an honourable and kindly reason, so instead of being reprimanded for it, I ought to be given a Good Citizen Award!!

If, my dear Fash Hag, you don't believe the things I wrote, there is only 1 simple solution.

Why don't YOU do some good in the world, and pay for your own holiday in Angsana?
(No, of course you can't tell them you are a reporter!!)

Then, afterwards, if you thoroughly enjoyed yourself and think that the pleasure far exceeds the amount you paid, then YOU can go ahead and write about your pleasant experience and therefore neutralize the horrid blog post I wrote.

If you had shit of a time there, then don't say I didn't warn you!!

What the hell is a Fash Hag anyway? I'm guessing it's inspired by the term Fag Hag - in which a girl who often hangs out with a gay boy is termed a "hag" only because it rhymes with "fag".

But hag doesn't rhyme with Fash (rather, makes it sound quite awkward) so your name is quite pointless. Do you hang out with Fash a lot?

Anyway, enough of this!!

I just got my tongue pierced yesterday, and all of you who hate me, you'll be glad to know that I AM IN AGONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Food and I always had a long-standing, good relationship, in which I eat it, and it is happy to be eaten by me (latter self-assumed).

Now, due to the goddamn piercing, every single mouthful of swallowing is pure agony!!!

I can only eat 1 fusilli pasta at a time. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? CAN YOU?

It therefore takes me about 1 year to finish a bowl of pasta, and I AM STILL HUNGRY!!

Super annoying!!

KK kept ostentatiously showing me her piercing and urging me to do it, expounding loudly,

"CONFIRM WILL BECOME SKINNY ONE!!! CONFIRM! I lost 5 kg!! And it's not painful la!! Confirm less painful than belly!!"






So grinning like a fool, I did it.

And it hurt (way more than my belly piercing for sure), is still hurting (now Day 3), and to my horror, I actually gained 1 kg!!


WHY WHY WHY HOW HOW HOW WHY???!!


THE WORLD IS SO FUCKING UNFAIR TO ME!!!!!!!!!!



WHY IS IT FAT PEOPLE GET FATTER AND SKINNY PEOPLE GET SKINNIER????


Anyway, the whole tongue piercing episode will be on clicknetwork soon. It's gonna include explicit questions asked to the piercer! Haha!!


Meanwhile, new videos:

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE




I learn from an *ahem* expert how to write erotic poetry!! Are you can see from my facial expression, I was immensely bored by him. He and I were totally on two different frequencies and I imagine that when I am old, I'll peruse this video again and tell my grandsons that this is one of the most awkward and PR-ish moments I had in life.

Why? I don't know. I guess he is not serious enough for you to laugh at him, yet whatever he is not serious at is not funny????? It's not funny to listen to some guy's sexual fantasies and urges! God I hope I don't meet him ever again.


CHICK VS DICK




Wank-worthy material!

I suggested to Gillian that two of the Chick VS Dick eps should be about Paul doing something KK is good at, and then KK doing something Paul is good at!!

So it was decided that the two things are respectively pole-dancing and singing!!

This is the pole-dancing one, so whether you wanna wank to KK's gyrating (personally I almost couldn't watch it coz I'm her friend and it's like watching your mom dance sexually AHAHAHA), or Paul's slightly gay dance moves - go ahead and watch it!


Ok bye for now!

It's DISGUSTING! I slept at 12am and woke up at 9am like a typical OL can! Please people, jio me for overnight MJ so I don't become like this!!!!

It might become permanent, then I'd start to shop at G2000 and wear Perlini's Silver!! OMG!!! And buy the LV Neverfull, book lunch tables with tissues, which I take out from my lunch pouch!! And I'll clik clak in my 2 inch Charles and Keith and get pregnant!! Omg... I totally want a baby...

Quote of the day:

Kay Kay, after my piercing: "OMG! You totally cannot cannot eat noodles! Especially those curly kind like Maggi Mee!! It will curl around the ball bearing and you will DIE." (looks at me seriously, as if to say, "and you don't want that to be the way you go...")

Selasa, 06 Mei 2008

Sympathy and Empathy (for undeserving scumbags) are over-rated

Oh god!! Junne just told me about the Josef Fritzl case!! It's so super grotesque I keep having vomiting sensations while reading it!!!!

For those of you who don't know yet, this Austrian man, Fritzl, 73, built a dungeon and trapped his daughter Elisabeth inside it for 24 years!!

Why did he do that? TO RAPE HER OF COURSE!!

The poor chick (quite chio somemore), imprisoned since 1984, was lured into a dingy dungeon (with no windows or natural light at all) by her father when she was 18, and repeatedly raped!

No wait, you think that's horrible? There's worse:

SHE WAS IMPREGNANTED 6 TIMES AND GAVE BIRTH TO 7 IMBRED CHILDREN.

One of the babies, a twin, died shortly after birth.

3 of these children were deemed to be too "noisy" to be kept in the dungeon by Fritzl and was brought to his home, where he lied to his wife that Elisabeth had abandoned them at his doorstep.

He had told his wife that Elisabeth, at the age of 18, had ran away from home to join a cult.

And the wife allegedly believed his rubbish!! I call BULLSHIT on this. Elisabeth was raped since 11, and I think it's impossible the wife doesn't know!!

The other 3 children, now 19, 18, and 15, lived their whole lives in the dungeon and NEVER SAW THE LIGHT OF DAY BEFORE.

These 3 children often witnessed their grandfather/father rape their mother.

What's more, Elisabeth on two occasions attempted to run away during her teenage years, but was unsuccessful - then she was caught by her father and imprisoned.

TWENTY-FOUR FUCKING YEARS!!

Within these 24 years I've grown from a baby to what I am right now, started a blog, made it famous, and attended 13 years of school and made hundreds of friends; toured America etc etc.

SHE got constantly raped by her dad!! And gave birth naturally without painkillers!!

(Little fucker didn't even bother to use a condom!! The thought pisses me off so much!!)

Now 42, Elisabeth and the dungeon children are Vitamin D deficient and malnourished. She has snow white hair and looks way older than she is, and her eldest child is currently in a critical condition (said unlikely to survive) and has virtually no teeth left.

I cannot even begin to FATHOM how horrible it is to be her, or even worse, her kids, who don't even have memories of the outside world. (ok, at least they are not raped for so many years I guess...)


She used to be so pretty too

Can you imagine? They never had a gourmet meal, or saw a rainbow or a sunset, or had a chance to fall in love!

[Link: Included pictures of the imbred children too. They look surprisingly normal, although eerily alike to one another...]

Eldest granddaughter also suspected of being raped, but cannot be confirmed as she is too sickly to give testimony.

And why?

BECAUSE THEY HAVE A MONSTER OF A FATHER.

And what is this monster doing right at this minute?

I'm telling you, he is relaxing in his solitary prison cell, comfortably watching TV!!


NABEHCCBCCBCCBCCB!!!!!!!!!

WTF IS THIS INJUSTICE?

Seriously man!! I had enough of this BULLSHIT.

They put him in a solitary cell because they are afraid that if put into prison, pedophilia (not to mention incestuous) criminals are often beaten up to a pulp by the other prisoners.

We must ask ourselves why these prisoners will beat pedophilic offenders up? BECAUSE THE OTHER PRISONERS STILL HAVE SOME OLD-FASHIONED SENSE OF JUSTICE LEFT IN THEM.

They might be robbers, burglers or gangsters, but fucking a child is CROSSING THE LINE and whoever did it deserves no less than death and a good old thrashing!!

WHY SHOULD WE TREAT SUCH SCUM WITH HUMANE ACTIONS? Why are we preventing other prisoners from beating him up?

(The little wuss is staying in his cell all day long and won't come out coz he's scared of being beaten up, just like he beats his daughter up. Oh God I AM SO ANGRY!!)

Does he deserve our sympathy and empathy? I say not a single ounce of it!!!!!!!

All around I've been reading forums and most people are shouting abuse at Fritzl, but here and there I see idiot comments like:

"Hurting him won't do him any good. It's best to lock him up for life, and let him reflect on his actions."

"You all are all going down to his level if you all want to kill him. Let's punish him in a civilised way."

"Please... He must have been mentally unstable. Don't be too harsh on him."


Is he really mentally unstable, such as his lawyer claims?

HOW MANY OF US WILL FALL FOR SUCH NAMBY PAMBY BULLSHIT AND LET A MAN LIKE HIM SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE IN A COMFORTABLE ASYLUM??

HE CAN TOUR THAILAND SOMEMORE LOR! LIKE THAT IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE MEH?

And EVEN IF HE IS, SO WHAT?! I never understood why mentally unstable people are let off. Do the victims of mentally unstable people suffer any less than those of criminals with sound minds?

I SAY NO, SO WHY SHOULD THEY BE LET OFF EASILY?

Anyone who rapes, murders, etc are probably of a less than normal mind anyway, because they obviously show more signs of being a sociopath than, say, someone who knows rape will hurt someone and therefore does not do it.

Are the people in high security prisons all normal? You telling me they are all normal?!

I therefore see NO REASON why people who plead insanity should have lighter sentences and escape from being put into prison like fellow offenders!!

What's with this stupid humanity shit anyway?!

He is bloody 73 years-old, had a 24-year-fill of young daughter vagina - WHAT IS THE POINT OF LOCKING HIM UP?


What for? For another 10 years maybe? Even killing him is not good enough for the irreversible harm he inflicted on all these people!


For maximum fairness, he ought to be locked in the very same dungeon for 24 years, then raped repeatedly by his own father in his ass!! (father also punished for shitty job of bringing up his shitty son)

And then, to simulate the pain of childbirth, he ought to have his dick dipped in concentrated acid for 7 times. For 63 months he has to walk around the place with a baby's extra weight.

However, there is no way that this can be done to him, as he is already 73 and probably can't live till 97, so this shall be, instead, done for 12 years with double the intensity of the rapes and the acid-dipping.

The only problem with this punishment is that he deserves it completely, so his suffering is probably less than that of Elisabeth's, who did nothing to deserve this.

So, I will instead suggest that he simply gets his penis chopped off.

The method for doing so shall be to tie a knot with a piece of string on his penis, and slowly tighten it until it eventually drops off.


*Having an awesome time imagining this*


But enough of this pleasurable imagery.

The topic of discussion here is the shitass law system we have.

Did you know that Fritzl was twice arrested for rape and once for exposing himself in public?


He was let free after 18 freaking months!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?!!

He was let free to rape his own daughter!

The muthafucking bloody judge who let him off his first convicted rape oughta be also punished for Fritzl's further crimes, don't you agree?

I SAY WE PUT THROW THE ERRANT JUDGE INTO JAIL TOO!

We trust our judicial systems to protect us normal civilians from harm, but yet, due to a "magnanimous" spirit and a stupid tendency to give rapists a second chance, this monster is let out again - and look what he has done!

Honestly man! If you wish to give sympathy and empathy to these horrible criminals, then please, feel free to do so but you BETTER MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT TAKING A RISK FOR OTHER PEOPLE, right or not?!

How can you be so self-centered as to bet other people's safety on your own warped perception of someone's propensity to completely change?

If these judges trust all these so-called reformed criminals so much, then I strongly suggest that they let their teenage daughters be locked into a room with these ex-rapists for a few hours, and see how they feel about that.

If they don't feel that that's right, then please, why are they inflicting this horror upon the society in general???



What's this crap about giving people second chances - murderers and rapists DO NOT DESERVE IT.

Some things don't deserve a second chance, and THAT'S THAT!

They deserve to be kept in a cell forevermore, where in the case of a VERY POSSIBLE future relapse of their urges, they won't be able to harm anyone innocent.


Say we do release them. What should be done to rapists to ensure they don't repeat their crimes then?

There can only be 1 option:





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Chop off their goddamn penis and balls.



Little twitchy things that keep wanting attention. I SEVERE YOU NEATLY!!!

After they are penis-less and balls-less, they are then free to roam the world wherever they want to, because without testosterone, they won't experience a raging horny urge to molest people anymore anyway!

(But just in case they do, they should still be imprisoned for life. And yes, their balls and penises still have to be cut off just in case they escape, like Ted Bundy did.)

There is no need to argue my case, it's iron-cast.

I hereby give you 3 famous examples why all rapists ought to be castrated and then imprisoned for life and never let out:


1) John Wayne Gacy

Famous serial killer - raped and killed 33 boys and young men.

Caught for Child Molestation, and let scot-free after 18 freaking months! (his sentence is for 10 years)

Went on to rape, torture, and butcher 33 innocent people afterwards, because SOMEONE SOMEWHERE thought it would be a good idea to let this man go. You know... Give him a second chance.

You were wrong, weren't you? YOU ARE AS GOOD AS A MURDERER.



2) Jeffrey Dahmer

Famous serial killer - rape, necrophilia (!) and cannibalism (!) on 17 men and boys.

Was arrested not once but twice for masturbation in public. He was supposed to go to jail for a year, but released after 10 months.

Shortly after, he was caught for sexually fondling a 13-year-old boy. Again, went to jail for 10 months when he was supposed to be in for 1 year. (only???! there is some miscarriage of justice here...)

Went on to rape, butcher, rape their dead bodies, and eat 17 innocent people afterwards, because SOMEONE SOMEWHERE thought it would be a good idea to let this man go. You know... Give him a second chance.

You were wrong, weren't you? YOU ARE AS GOOD AS A MURDERER.



3) Alfonso Rodriguez, Jr

Raped and murdered College student Dru Sjodin.

Released from jail at the age of 50 after 23 years spent inside. He was charged for rape, as well as stabbing and trying to kidnap a woman.

Shortly after he was freed, he proceeded to rape, torture and kill 22 year-old Sjodin after she finished her work shift at Victoria's Secret. He left her half-naked body near his mother's house, in the snow.

Her bloodstained shoes and clothes were found in his car, yet he maintains he is not guilty. OH REALLY? DID SOMEONE PLANT THOSE IN YOUR CAR NOW, YOU POOR MAN??

Dru Sjodin was raped, tortured and killed because SOMEONE SOMEWHERE thought it would be a good idea to let this man go. You know... Give him a second chance.

You were wrong, weren't you? YOU ARE AS GOOD AS A MURDERER.



And therefore, I'm telling you, save your bloody namby pamby sympathy for people who deserve it, please.


Some people deserve NOTHING less than death, for their existence in the world only bring about extreme harm to others!


*************


In Singapore, drug traffickers are dealt with by the death sentence. Anyone who dares to argue that this is too harsh is immediately met with the rebuttal,

"If they know they will die if they get caught, why do they still do it? These drug traffickers simply asked for it. Take a risk, accept the consequences!"

Worldwide, the same can be used for rapists and sex offenders, except that instead of death, it's the chopping of the penis/clitoris.


No more orgasms for them.


UPDATE: Josef Fritzl now claims that the media painted an unfair picture of him, and he is not a monster.

He said people should give him credit as he kept Elisabeth and her children alive for so many years.

He said that he COULD have killed Elisabeth and her children, but he did not.

He said that it is because of him that the eldest of the dungeon children, Kerstin, is still alive, as he brought her to the hospital.

Amazing? Yes.

Hilter COULD also have personally raped Jews as well as massacre them, but he didn't. So you know what? That makes him a good, kindly person.

Wooo... So nice of you to bring her to hospital, you old fuck. Oh wait, DIDN'T YOU MAKE HER SO SICKLY IN THE FIRST PLACE?

FUCK YOU! I can't believe he is still justifying what he has done, can you believe it?!?!?

AND WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PROVIDE FOR THEIR LIVING? Elisabeth could have been working for her own living and had a husband and family of her own, but YOU DIDN'T allow her to!

Completely self-centered and still showing no signs of remorse!! I can't think of a punishment severe enough for him. No, I honestly can't.

Minggu, 04 Mei 2008

Getting back into the groove

Whoopie!

Aren't you all just happy that I'm blogging more often again?

Coz almost every night, while I am using the PC, my thought process goes like this:

"Should I blog or should I...

1) Go internet shopping? Maybe something new on spree sites and F21?

2) Jio people for MJ?

3) Watch DVDS?"


Invariably, most of these things come before blogging, because those are 100% stress-free! (Except for MJ la but I love MJ so it's ok)

But tonight, I've finished seeing all the shopping sites (nothing new, and on weekends F21 takes a rest on updating), nobody is free for MJ, and I don't feel like DVDs coz there is a resident humongous lizard outside, so here I am, blogging!!

Today Mike brought me, for the second time in 2 days, to Arab street where I spent *GASP* almost $150 on crystals!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But boh pian, my Nintendo DS Lite is a tad spoilt (bought a new one) and my new camera is pink, but barren of any Wendy characteristics, so I had to zhng them!!

BEHOLD!!!!!!!!!!!

MY CAMERA:




This is how it used to look like. Already pretty, but I cannot stand the thought of anyone else using the same camera so must zhng!!




Half-way done! The pattern is pink hearts on a light grey background. I haven't put the crystals onto the lens rim yet.



With flash



Rims completed.
Outer rim is pink with a tinge of purple, and inner rim is Jet Black!!


I apologize for the shitty pictures, but there is no other way to take a photo of my camera except to use the stupid mirror!

I magnificently fail to capture the final product in it's full glory... It's crazy chio!

I seriously almost died when I came to the lens/flash area though. Can you imagine trying to calculate if the next diamante should be grey or pink, when so many parts are missing?

Nonetheless, I only made one mistake (cannot be seen one, it's at the top), and I am superbly proud of myself!!

When the camera is turned on, the lens would then pop up, and the outer rim will even rotate!! It looks damn nice la!!

(BTW... For those anal people... Just to the right of the flash bulb there is the viewing glass, and to the right of that, it seems like I put a black crystal there that is too big right? Just to clarify, I am not a noob and won't make such a mistake!! That black "crystal" is actually the red-eye beam thingy. And to the right of that, the pinhole is the microphone.)

MY DS LITE:


Matchy matchy strap too!




Couldn't let the stylus go without putting some diamantes on it too. KK's idea.


My nintendo DS Lite in Juicy-inspired stripey pale pink and green!!

It looks like dark green in the picture, but it's actually lighter in real life.

For some reason I don't really like it very much though. I guess it's coz the original DS colour is already patent baby pink, and I do like that a lot!!

I tried to find this baby pink opaque crystal called Rose alabaster, but to no avail, so I settled for light pink crystals on the DS, which is called Light Rose.

That, and I did my DS before I did my camera, and only after half of the DS was done did I have a sudden blast of inspiration to put hearts!!

Won't it be nice if the DS and the camera were matchy matchy???!!

If you like my DS very much maybe you can convince me to sell it to you at a high price!! Hahaha!! I bought the 2-day old DS for $225 and and spent almost $100 on the diamonds here, so I'd say... $500 and above? I have crazily superb workmanship (and that's at least 4 hours of painstaking sticking!!)

Altogether I spent at least 7 freaking hours doing this!!**

Anyway, updates on my Juicy Sidekick...

I AM SUPER PISSED OFF OK!!

The seller suddenly emailed me to say that she is sorry, coz she was on vacation and her bf handled her account for her!!

She also said her bf was extremely rude (which he was, more about that later), and that she will mail out my package ASAP - and asked me for my name to write on the package!

?????????????????

In an email 1 hour prior to this, she said that she "already mailed the package out".

QUIT FUCKING PROCRASTINATING AND SEND OUT THE BLOODY THING ALREADY! I don't fucking care if you put my name as Mickey Mouse or Britney Spears, just send it out!

And 1 week prior to THIS NONSENSE, the incoherent BF actually lied to me and said he will mail out the package on 27 April!! I won the bid on 18 April!! Now what date already the package is still in their house!!

I AM FUCKING MAD I TELL YOU!

I just emailed Paypal and filed a dispute against her. $500!! I don't want her bloody phone already!!

I am so pissed off (and mad with longing for the phone) that I am actually crying in anger right now as I am writing this!

Can you believe it was a birthday present?? And now, it's still MIA?!??!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!


SO SO SO SO SO PISSED OFF!!


The girl seems nice enough, why is she with a rude, incoherent douchebag? Seriously man, that guy can't string a sentence together!!

But whatever la! We'll see what happens.


UPDATE: She apologized and agreed to refund me. I'll let you all know if she really does.




** FAQs for zhnging:

Q) Woah! You spent 7 hours sticking damn bling? Please, don't you have a life?

A) Woah! You spend 7(++) hours a day working for someone else? Don't you have a life?


Q) Xiaxue please... My niece is dying/daughter's birthday/long suffering mother and it's mother's day soon... can you help me put crystals on XXX product? Please? Out of the kindness of your heart?

A) No. Pay me money or fuck off, you opportunistic scrooge. I'm 100% pro capitalism.


Q) Then how much do you charge? How about $20? Or maybe $25? We can negotiate.

A) I already earn way too much for you to afford my services. HAHAHAHA!! For $20 I will stick the crystals onto your forehead for you, forming the words IDIOT in big shiny letters. Colour of your choice.