The ultimate guide to cooking muthafucking awesome risotto!!!!
CHICK VS DICK
The yummy chocolate challenge!
Arcade challenge: Who's better at arcade games?
NUMBNUTS
Crazy new show!!!
The guys see who can get more slaps from strangers on Orchard Road, and the winner gets to create a design for a REAL TATTOO anywhere on the loser's body!
Fuck man that sucks but it really happened! Watch!!
Since many of you have requested that I blog about our most recent Miss Singapore World, I thought I'd go one step further and ask her if she'd like to guest blog her opinion on this whole crazy saga!
So here's what she replied:
It is like an overnight stardom. From nothing to something.
Firstly I would like to tell everyone that I had no intentions of getting my credit card fraud leaked out (but thanks to you-know-who), it became a secret that everybody knew.
I got free publicity so thank you to people who hate me. I don’t care!
Before that was my bad English. How many people can speak good and perfect queen’s English if you are a first timer in front of a camera? Not many people can speak well in front of public crowds much less in front of a microphone. Go ahead – laugh. See how much you’ll be enjoying when I pop out of nowhere and start to shove a microphone down your throat. Oh, I forgot, by then you can’t speak as you’ll be too busy handling the black tube.
Claire, thanks but no thanks to your pretentious attitude towards me. You know you aren’t popular and hence, used me to create awareness for yourself. You are a good friend (oh someone please shoot me). Please, if you were to diss me, make sure people don’t let me know about it. I know it is hard for someone like you to keep a secret but at least make it less obvious.
I’ve seen enough of you, talked enough of you and I TOTALLY CAN’T BE BOTHERED.
REPORTERS, STOP WRITING NONSENSE. I do regret my past and stop twisting words around! It is irritating!
So that about sums it all up.
I thought she'd write more to scold reporters but it's mostly focused on Claire!! (who is the first runner-up).
Anyway, dunno if you guys have heard about ST Online naming Ris' photo SG-STUPID.JPG or something...
How fucking horrible is that? Here's my general rule for calling someone a moron:
It's only ok to call someone stupid if they are acting like a smartass.
I mean, you don't tell a mentally retarded person they are stupid, do you? So what's with all these comments about Ris' IQ or whatever?
Bad English does not equal to stupid!
When I first saw her video, I conceded that her spoken English is a little funny. But it sure didn't make me laugh out loud and honestly, the BOOMZ jokes that ensued for about a thousand years afterwards were totally stale.
Cmon, is it really that funny?
You know what I think was EVEN more funny?
The Razor TV host asking dumbass questions like:
"So Ris, you are the daring fashionista in this pageant, is this your strategy to win??"
No, fucktard, my strategy is to fuck the judges.
"Are you a big fan of South African influences?"
How is anyone supposed to answer a stupid question like that? Define fucking South African influences!
Good on Ris for even bothering to answer these questions man.
Almost all the comments I've read regarding this issue goes something like this: "Oh I can't believe someone like that is representing Singapore!"
MY ASS... Honestly, who gives a shit about Miss Sg World?!
Did you know who the past year's winner is?? Do you know ANYYYYYY past year winners?
And oh, suddenly this year you are sooooooo concerned that the Miss Sg World will embarrass Singapore? Pui!
Oooh!!!!!!!!! Ris and Claire should just fight it out in a Jello fight!!!
I think Ris would win. She seems like she's full of hidden unorthodox talents. I'm also rooting for her to win!!
She may not be the cleverest, the kindest, or the most polite, but you can't deny she's fucking interesting!!
As for the Claire girl? Doing charity work? Cmon, gimme a break. You can't get more boring than that if you were knitting socks for orphans.
Everyone else nominated for the Nuffnang Regional Blog Awards have already done their blog entries, and I was getting a bit panicky.
So panicky, that in fact, I even asked my fat hammie, Nanolove, for help. (On an irrelevant side note, Nanolove is proof that being Vegetarian does not make you skinny or healthy)
This is the exchange that happened between us:
I wondered how she's going to help me...
There she is, toppling a Pringles can of chips...
Oh no Nano you greedy puff, you are not helping by just eating!
But soon....
Nano reduced the chips from the above...
to the following:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
That's a lot of biting for a small hammie!
"Hand me a pencil!" she yelled at me, full of artistic zeal. So I gave her one...
Doodled...
Me: "Ahh... That's very sweet and all, but what has this got to do with Pringles?"
Wow!
After several hours, which are equal of decades in hammie years:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A piece of art made solely from Pringles chips!! Coral from Grilled Scrimp, Green from Seaweed, and Cream from Salt and Pepper + Sour Cream and Onions!!
More photos of the process:
Oh Nano is love!!! :D :D :D :D
So! Remember to....
I even made the text bling bling!!! How can you reject the hard work of a hammie?! Are you human?! Voteeeee!!
It's very easy! All you have to do is to select me for Best Original Blog Design and Most Influential Blog!
It is necessary to also vote for the other categories, but I don't care about those so you can vote for whoever you like!!
No registration is necessary - just a few clicks! There aren't even pop-up ad spams!!! Fab isn't it? :D
And remember you can vote once every 2 hours so please be obsessive!!
Okok... Childish hammie stories aside, here's WHY you should vote for me.
I am not going to go into one of those stupid touching posts about how much it would mean for me (and it would mean a lot, if you are the sort who likes touching posts)...
You should vote for me because I will BRIBE YOU!!!
For the next one week, whether you vote or not to reward my hard work, I am going to blog the following posts:
1) Finally post up Photoshop entries sent by blog readers. Over 100 photos and FUCKING HILARIOUS.
2) Blog entry titled: How to be an Internet Bitch and Win Blog Wars. Secrets of writing an awesome blog entry against your enemy!
3) And with that post, an example of a good hate post against me!
These are to reward my awesome readers who have already voted for me, or are going to!!
Now to make the lazier part of you click on the voting poll too, provided I win BOTH categories, I am going to blog about:
THE Love Story
Up till now, only close friends know how I got to know Mike and what made him come to Singapore - and what happened after that!
The time is ripe now. :) And this will happen after October 23rd, 2009, when the awards ceremony will be held.
As if these are not reason enough, here's why I DESERVE your vote:
For Best Original Blog Design:
I've seen (nice) people comment that they are voting for me for Influential, but not for Blog Design.
Their reasoning is that the underdogs should be given a chance to shine, or that since I'm already in another category, it is enough to win just one.
Why?? Did I not work hard on my blogskin too?
I had a designer work on the coding, that's true, but my designer Lionel and I both bounced loads of ideas off each other, and while he handled the back end, I did a lot of the graphics and conceptualizing with him too!
If I win, the award will be shared with him and fuck man, he is an underdog who is goddamn hardworking too!
And pardon me for being arrogant, but my Photo of the Moment idea is just FABULOUS (Don't pretend you don't love it), and it is totally an ORIGINAL idea that I came up with! It is not inspired or copy from ANYWHERE.
And as for the awesome little speech bubble with the twitter feed on the top banner? The one thing that so many other bloggers are COPYING?
Yeah, so maybe Bossming should win the Best Original Blog Design - except that he is the boss and cannot possibly be nominated. MUAHAHA!
But in any case, I've credited Lionel from the start, ok!
I'm not saying anything, but please, vote for ORIGINALITY!
I'm feeling a bit pissed now coz I feel that for these artsy categories, if I win, everyone will say it is a popularity contest.
But whatever lah! I really think my blogskin is the CHIOEST!! And I KNOW that I put in muthafucking a lot of effort (and hours of photoshopping) into it! And so did poor Lionel!!
For Most Influential Blog:
I was asked what I think my most influential blog post is.
I think it's THIS one. The article on Molesters using aerosol foam sprays on victims.
Besides getting 3702 signatures on the petition to ban aerosol foam sprays, after I blogged about the issue (after experiencing it first hand), forums starting discussing it, and both Newspapers and the evening news covered it:
On Sunday Times
I'm gonna be all high-browed now and say that, ahem, besides getting people to buy blackberries or making them desire to have a Princess Room, a good blog also highlights important social issues and transcends into other medium!
That was total bullshit.
But I am as influential as a blogger can be and someone should give me a trophy for it, GODDAMN IT!
SO YEAH! VOTE VOTE VOTE!!
p/s:
The Awards will be held in Pan Pacific Hotel and sounds totally glamourous!! I can't wait to see all the other bloggers coming from other countries.
You should have seen bloggers from all over the world writing UBER creative posts just to win a chance to come to Singapore!! :D I'm totally proud of my country.
p/p/s:
Some 3 cans of Pringles were harmed in the making of this blog entry.
