Jumat, 30 Oktober 2009

Watch New Videos!

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



Guide to Emergency Household tips!!

My very own special method of hiding period stains
on your skirt!! LOL!!



Guide to photoshop part II!!

Many of you have requested for this...

More ways to lie and cheat your way to internet chioness!



CHICK VS DICK



Kaykay and Paul are forced to phone their
parents and blabber the most vulgar words!

Watch to find out why!



THE SHAN AND ROZZ SHOW



Shan and Rozz interviews Ris Low, who turns out
to be a bit ding dong!

This episode even made it to The Newpaper (2 pages can?)
and she even strips down to her bikini... You just HAVE to watch it!



NUMBNUTS




Poor boys... Numbnuts indeed - forced to sit naked on ice cubes...

Loser gets pepper sprayed in the face!

Really, you should watch it just coz they suffer so much...




The boys get into a cage fight.

LOSER EATS A FUCKING BALUT!!

That fucking thing is how muthafucking gross!

I gagged like five times watching this.



p/s: You guys need to chill about the promised blog entries ok? I'm gonna write them, but a good entry needs inspiration and time!!

Senin, 26 Oktober 2009

Wolves in the photographer's clothing

NSFW


Today I was just thinking to myself... Why the hell is it that all these male, "amatuer" photographers all like to photograph these "models" in lingerie or bikini??

If they are so interested in photography, then why don't they shoot other things such as... family portraits, close-up shots of a fly's eyes, a droplet of water dropping into a pool of water etc etc other artsy fartsy nonsense?

WHY GIRLS??

And the most puzzling of all... Why do they like to shoot FLAWED girls??

Ok I know. Firstly, they would of course want to shoot flawless girls if possible, but flawless girls are unlikely to want to be shot by amatuer lechers, plus they are of limited stock.

Secondly, I know even people like Megan Fox have their flaws, but I don't mean like a clubbed thumb...

I mean like... They are trying so hard to ooze sexuality and then it's like they are hideous.

I know I sound fucking elitist or something, but it just seems to me that it's totally silly to allow a girl's armpit fats to ruin an otherwise good piece of photography!

I mean, if you changed the subject from a race queen with terrible black roots to, say, a butterfly or an elderly woman pushing a cart, it just won't be RUINED that way, you get what I mean??

Anyway that's not what I'm gripping about. I'd get back to this later.

I am actually really annoyed with the increment of these "photographers" around, who are actually just wankers wanting to snap a sexy shot for his evening stroke.

Honestly man, if you are a fucking pervert, just fucking admit it instead of parading around with your E05 or whatever and pretending to care about the fucking proper lighting!

Let's see... If we let them choose between shooting a fat tou geh plucking auntie with the most fabulous lighting and equipment... or shooting a nude race queen with a compact camera, which do you think they will pick?

Please leh! The nude of course! You know why? Coz they are fucking wankers!


The whole "models" photography culture is just sick.


If you go to Clubsnap's forum, you will see pages like this.


Girls, whored out by these organisers... Enticing these "photographers" with either lingerie, bikini or sexy fashion shoots... Guess which is the most expensive?


For $100 you can snap snap snap away at a model of your choice while you try to entice her to give even more smothering looks and jut out her ass more.

Then you can go home and wank to the close-up boobage shots, while imagining having a kinky photographer-model relationship with her.


After that, even better still, you can add the "artistic" shots to your portfolio and earn respect as a PHOTOGRAPHER!!!!!!!!


Not.



I don't know what these men are thinking when they snap all these slutty photos, but here's what I think when I see some of them.




"How did she manage to get such a hideous bikini?"




"Invisible mirror squishing monster!! HAHAHA!
Ass distractingly flat."




"MUST... GIVE... SMOTHERING... LOOK... No matter what...."





"Why is she wearing a bra to shower? That doesn't seem to make much sense?

Hard to dry... Imagine all the padding heavy and soaked with water. Urgh!
Must bring the bra home in a plastic bag.
If she got no other bra and wears the bra home
she will look like she is lactating HAHAHAHA!"




"Fine I'd buy you that LV bag now please put your clothes back on."





"AHAHHAHA I REALLY don't think you fit into the S sized top!"




"Surely that beach is not very clean..."




"I open the toilet door and URGHHHH!!!!
What sort of person sits on a toilet bowl with underwear on?
You peeing through it??"




"You are facing the wrong way."




"Is her ass cold on that table?
When she stands up, will the table have ass-shaped steam marks?
Did they photograph that? Coz that would be FUNNEH!!!"





"No."





"Really now... Don't ever wear a thong again."





"The phone must be ringing and she REALLY doesn't want to pick it up.
Ooohh... Label on shoes? How much?"




"My god woman, put your pants back on!
And next time, please wear matching lingerie for christ's fuck sake."





"Her asscrack is entirely too short."



"She is surely not very comfortable..."




"WTF? And honestly, who you trying to bluff with
BOTH bra straps falling down 'accidentally'??"




So anyway... My point is... Do those photos show off great photography skills? Not one bit. They just show how fucking perverse the photographer is.

If you have real talent, why would you try to distract from it with all these sexual vibes?? I don't think anyone is looking at the composition or whatever is important in photography coz everyone's trying to find nipple slips!!


I must, of course, credit the photographer whom I got all these photos from.



Dunno his name but at least he is not a hypocrite - he did go semi-naked himself complete with come-hither eyes.



Check out his photographer 'friends'....












They are buzzing around these car shows like flies on corpses... Gross.


p/s: I have nothing against girls taking such photos. As you all would possibly point out, Kaykay also does such shots. What she does is her business and if it earns her money without hurting anyone, why not?

Hell even I took bikini shots for Maxim before.

My disdain is for the lecherous photographers, not the models. Although, it is still fun to laugh at the ugly models when they do stupid poses.

What? They dare to take then dare to be criticised lah! Nothing wrong what! You all also criticise my Maxim shots - and I totally deserve it. They are horrid to the max.

And of course, these photographers' natural defence will be that I am JEALOUS coz nobody wants to shoot ME.

Yes, yes, I wrote this post coz I am fat and jealous. Because every girl would love a pack of perverse, scary middle-aged uncles photographing them.


p/p/s: Why can't all these men control their penises?!