Jumat, 03 April 2009

GAG TO THE MAX

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



Got PRANKED for April's Fool Day!!!!!!!!

Anyway yes yes hair very yellow face very red. I told you all I got sunburnt and now my hair is not so yellow anymore coz my stylist put toner for me!!



Xiaxue learns social etiquette. Is it possible?


CHICK VS DICK




THE most disgusting episode of ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got so traumatized watching it, I gagged at least 10 time!

What is wrong with these two???

You HAVE to watch this.



The Shan and Rozz Show



Interviewing this guy who claimed to have sex with 30 women over 2 months or something!

I know at least one of those girls, don't you?

I won't say much about his taste. LOL!!!!!!!!

Senin, 30 Maret 2009

186 pictures - V Day/3rd Year anniversay/10 Year Reunion/USA shopping/CNY/Randoms

Woah! Some of these photos are seriously overdue!

Anyway, I'm starting with USA shopping.

My USD$100 Tales of Beedle the Bard arrived! (A thousand years ago)




So cute



Left: Box in HP fonts

Right: My Walmart $7 cheap Beedle version, and un-unpacked luggage.



Size of book in comparison to my foot



Velvety rich





Top: $7 version.
Bottom: $100 version with J K Rowling's illustrations.



Into Harry Potter shelf!

Now for my loot! Skip it all if you are a guy, I bet it's very boring to you.





Geez, would you look at those OPI sluts? They fucked and got babies. Nowaways nail polish ah... Sigh.

Actually the baby OPI bottles are part of my 3-tiered Xmas presents from Mike's mom! She's the sweetest ever. She gave me an OPI Festive set, a full ULTA make up kit, and a charm!



Bras for KK and me

F21:





Chioest dress ever - damn cheap like $17!


Fringe shift dress


Bikini dress with built-in padding: $9.





Track pants




Maxi satin PJ





Love this jumpsuit





Bare-back leotard! It's only $3.



This looks exceedingly dull but it's a slinky bare-back dress!

Awesome with a bright belt and bright shoes!


Abercrombie and Fitch:
Nothing exceeding $12.90






Cardigan



I love bare-back dresses











Shorts!










The cutting is fantabulous









Red for CNY!


Accessories:











My awesome Victoria's Secret purchases:





Baby pink luggage tag. (With python-skin print)

Comes in a set with...



Mirror



Make-up pouch

And my favouritest:



Passport holder in the creamiest baby pink with gilded gold fonts and an abundance of shimmer!

I love it!! You have no idea how long I've been wanting a chio pink passport holder man!



Mike's grandma's present for me!



Bought this in Korea...

Universal charger in baby pink.



Reeses for Junne and Eekean.



Cranium! Maximum worth it!

$15 from Walmart and it's $150 in Singapore!



Nokia phone comes with T-mobile prepaid card worth $10.

And it's $19.90. Hello?? Mad cheap.



Another inspired Fendi spy bag, this time in orange.

JUICY!!





Juicy Couture bag from eBay!

I got the seller to send it to Mike's mom's address.



Juicy 3 rings... $58





Juicy hair tie, Juicy bangles! $35, $88







Juicy dog toy! $25

I initially bought it for...



Nano, but it's now PK's.

Got another pair of slippers also but I am damn lazy to go to the shoe cabinet to take photos...



Speaking of shoe cabinets...

I had a shoe cabinet that more like a tall bookshelf.

It was just beside the front door.

That day, I was eating lunch at the dining table and Pumpkin was running about. It was the second day I got her and she was so tiny!

THEN, a massive gale of wind blew into the house, and I saw the shoe cabinet waver, as if in slow motion.

IT WAS ABOUT TO FALL FORWARDS!
And the bloody thing is laden with shoes and is about 2 metres high!!

AND WORST OF ALL MY PUPPY WAS RIGHT UNDER IT!!!!!!!!!!!


Dramatically, I shouted "Noooooooo!" and ran towards the cabinet hoping to push it back into place but obviously I was too late.

My legs crumpled under the weight and I was crushed underneath cupboard, standing fan (was in front of cupboard and also fell knn) and an absolute avalanche of chio shoes I never bothered to wear. CCB!

Honestly man the first thing I thought of was "OMG is the puppy dead??" and I tried to crane my neck and move to see if Pumpkin was still around but she was nowhere to be found.

And then I found cuts on my arms and legs and realised the corner of the cupboard hit me on the neck. It's muthafucking painful man!! And I couldn't move!!

And my puppy's dead!!

I started sobbing and only managed to pry myself out after about 5 minutes.

Turns out all along Pumpkin was just watching from behind me. -_-

Anyway she stayed with me (licking and looking curiously at the mess) while I cried and called Mike to come home from work to comfort me coz I was so scared!! He came back immediately (his work is only like 2 minutes away from our place) and tucked me in to sleep.

Nabeh. Stupid Ikea cupboard.


The cut

I know it's not much but I also had a sore neck for the next like 4 days.

So yeah, stop saying I am so horrible ok! I bloody tried to save a goddamn puppy!! Admittedly the puppy cost me $2,800 lah but that wasn't what I was thinking about when I was playing the hero!



Here's pics of our 3rd Year Anniversary!!


Plugs:

Mosche for my awesome bleach job and great haircut (6735 2149)

Carrageen for great lash extensions (6222 3376)

Hotel Re!
for free suite for the night! (6827 8288)



We planned for an awesome night!! First to Shashlik Restaurant to eat dinner (just like our anniversary 2 years ago), then to a Gold Class movie (Watchmen - sucked), then overnight at Hotel Re! in their Gold Suite!! Complimentary!



Mike looking just as cute as he did 3 years ago.



Me with my platinum blonde hair! I super loves it!!

The quality is not fantastic but I won't say it's any worse than my usual! If I knew earlier that bleaching it so light won't cause it to be completely frizzy I'd have bleached a long long time go man.





Shiny!



Happy baby



My eyes were half closed and I look like some sort of slutty mistress.



I love this pic and I love the hair!

In fact...



I love being blonde!



Escargots.

Mediocre, but then again I've never had
escargots that are less than yummy.



Borsch soup.

Delicious max!



My tenderloin with Foie gras pate atop it.
The steak is fantastic!



Mike's beef stroganoff. Not bad only.



This time I took a picture of the toothpick so I will know how to spell the restaurant's name!

After that we went for our movie at Vivo City. I've been reading good reviews on Watchmen everywhere. WTF?? It was so utterly horrible!

Since when do superhero movies not show what the superhero's powers are and where they come from??! And the lead guy (is it like Danny or whatever? The guy with the Owl spaceship) is like damn gross?

What's wrong with his lumpy lips? He definitely put collagen in them lor I swear! And he even put lip gloss on! OMG!

And the blue guy's DONG. I mean seriously lah, I get it that you are above all this super human intelligence and everything, but can't you put on some pants?? There he is yabbering about some philosophical nonsense and there his dick is, dangling and distracting me. Geez.

Hated it.

Finally, @ 2am, we checked in.


The suite is gorgeous!!



Giant plasma tv that built on a turn-able wall!



Round WATER bed.

Can't say I've slept on one of those before.



Now I can!



I love the toilet tiles. So ostentatious like me!





The toilet has a glass door and hugeass glass windows.

I guess it's not the sort of suite you'd wanna stay in with your mom, unless you are the sort who likes to watch your mom shower. Ew! What's wrong with you??



En-suite Jacuzzi!!


It was fantastic.

We took a nice long bubble bath in the Jacuzzi and mucked around till 4am.

We then slept till 12pm and ordered Room service (Chicken Curry and Seafood Hor fun) before a late check-out at 2pm!

Shiok max.



View from our room. I love those pink and green buildings!



Loves!!!!!!!!!



More Pumpkin

She has a million hair clips by now haha...





I taught her to sit within 10 minutes of training!





PK in my Gojane.com box of shoes



Napping on a tissue box cover











I mosaic-ed my cleavage. It looks gross.









She broke that thing.


CNY at Stanley's place






Estee and Ming



Look at his humongous swimming pool...



James and Sheena



Zapzap and Jian Bang posing for me



Gambling all around! The guy in dots is doing wan zi be careful everyone!


Guess what? From the underground pool room you can see people swimming!!




Bathtub like a hotel's



Ming's friend and Mike


Anyway Stanley's place has bloody flamingos! Like 2 real flappy pink flamingos! And 2 or 3 Crown birds! I don't know their actual name but they look like this:



(Credits to whoever took this photo)

And they will peck you if you go too close to them!

I tried to take a photo to show you all but all I got was a darkish patch:



See, I never bluff you!!
I swear they are wear the arrows are pointed at!

I've always wanted to strangle a flamingo but I don't think Stanley's dad will take too kindly to that as they cost $30,000 each.

See, I told you PK is not an expensive pet. Geez!



Random: KK and Michelle when we all went to JB


RVHS Ten Year Reunion!

I was so happy to see my secondary 3 classmates after 10 whole years! Thanks to Jessica, Hotel Re! provided the venue for our little gathering, including KTV!

It was nice.



So formal!



That's Jess in the power suit.
She's married already and she's my age. -_-



Pink and Green! Loves

In the background, "If we hold on together" is playing. Back in River Valley, the school used to play this song all the time for us to sing to!

I remember during the last day of Sec 4, the school made us all gather at the assembly hall and we all held hands and sang together for the last time.

Many people cried!! I think I might have too. It was seriously quite sad.









My plate



Wong the lawyer hogging the mic.

Nobody dared to take it from her coz we were all scared she'd sue us.



Wong with Ripple, who is also engaged!

WTF!!!!!!! Mike!



Boys: Jia Wei, Gilbert and Ian



Yixun (far left, stunned face) and Huilin (next to him, acting chio haha) got together AFTER school ended!! It's seriously weird and romantic at the same time.

Far right: Sheng rong doing some sort of happy dance, wtf.



Ripple Huifen me



All of us!

Honestly man people all haven't changed that much.

We were discussing who changed the most (looks) and Wong said it might be Sheng Rong (who seriously buffed up and grew much taller) but I very indignantly said "BUT I CUT HALF OF MY NOSE OFF!! Nobody else did plastic surgery!!"

Honestly man... You can't change more than that... Grumble grumble...

I am the one who changed the most!! Hmpf! I must be first at everything!

Anyway it would be fun to show you guys a photo of us all ten years ago but I am too lazy. I might do it later.


Wisdom teeth:



Top



Bottom.

Had to be broken into a million pieces
before they could be extracted.

CCB. I hate them. HATE them!




This was taken before KK and I went to Lorong Halus. She said she was hungry, so I offered her some soup that I cooked the night before.

Potato, carrot and corn soup, cooked with Pork ribs. It is damn yummy.

And then......


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We found a worm in the corn.


FUCKING DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I didn't see it when I was washing and cutting the corn (NTUC btw) because the bloody worm was completely hidden under the corn kernels!

And only a little bit of the tail was visible! I honestly thought it was a shrunken kernel and ignored it!! WTF MAN!

Thank god that corn piece turned kinda brown after cooking and I told Kaykay not to eat it!!!!!!

I said, "Don't eat that, it looks rotten... OMG IS THAT A WORM??"

I thought it might be a weeny worm but KK went to use her fork to pry off all the kernels and OMG IT IS FUCKING HUMONGOUS!!!!!!!!!

I kept gagging afterwards and felt really bad for letting KK drink my worm soup (which in all honesty tasted great) but she was completely unperturbed!

She even said she'd eat the blood worm for $50 right now! Then she started picking up the worm and playing with it!

Fuck man damn gross?!?!?!

I kept gagging in response, and she was like "WHAT? It won't taste like worm! It will just taste like your soup!!"

I immediately gave her a tenner to ask her to eat it, and she was like "More lah!"

Wah lau...

Later on she changed her mind though coz she tried to tug the worm to break it (what's wrong with her?!?!) and she said the worm is damn hard and won't break so she'd have to chew very hard and she doesn't want to eat it anymore.

Won't taste like worm will taste like soup. Jesus!

Just in case you are wondering I threw away the rest of the soup but it was already half gone.



Random


Dark Knuts
invited me to go for their premiere!

Honestly man, Chestnut plays are so freaking funny!!!!!!

You HAVE to go watch them!



Invited Weili, Wanyi and Shuyin to go



Us outside the Victoria Theatre!





Us doing all sorts of disrespectful nonsense
under Sir Stamford Raffles' statue.



I took a picture of Weili in front of the Victoria theatre and it looks scarily like a haunted house!!!!!

So I took one too:



Hahaha.....


But see, without flash and in real life it's not so dark at all!



Quite chio in fact



Tickets



My mouth looks damn weird here coz this
was day 2 after Wisdom tooth plucking!


Bff


Shuyin's ridiculous necklaces







Weili took a pic of Shuyin looking like some apparition.






Poor me!! Check out my stitches:



And this bitch of an ulcur!!





I presume that my mouth got opened too wide during my surgery, and it caused this ulcur!

It's muthafucking painful!!




Combined with the wisdom teeth extraction pain, I'd got to say that this is officially one of the most torturous experiences of my life.

Every bite of food hurts so bad! Thank god for painkillers man.

Oh and btw? I tried to pull out one of my stitches. Instead of sliding out like it is supposed to, it ripped out my gum, just like how you'd ripped an eyebrow piercing off somebody you REALLY don't like.

It was fucking painful and my whole mouth was full of blood. GAH!!!

5 days after the surgery was Valentine's Day.

My ulcur was still full-blown and I was miserable beyond words because I knew I couldn't fully enjoy our dinner. :(



Our dinner at Jaan @ Equinox.




Menu for the day



Instead of bread we had innovative little biscuit sticks.
They were damn nice!





Ew to the max! Celery and Carrot drink!

Can you think of anything worst? This thingy was complimentary.



Our FORGOTTEN VEGGIES salad.

What can I say?

These veggies were forgotten for good reason.

Tasted like shit.



Can't say it wasn't interesting though.
Look at this pointy broccoli-cauliflower mix!

It tastes terrible.



Mike still ate everything!
He said very expensive don't waste.



Now this is good! I don't know what it is but it's all seared and crispy on one side and the other side is a tad raw.

And the little jelly cubes with caviar on them taste nice too!



Foie gras. Fucking yums!
There was foie gras inside that little fried ball of potato rosti.
Loves!



Clams... Not too bad. The clams are underneath the foamy stuff (supposedly lobster emulsion). BUT UNFORTUNATELY THEY CAME MIXED WITH CELERY.

WTF?? How unpleasant is celery?! Please stop putting celery in stuff!



Fish. Great. Very crispy skin



This is awesome!

Wagyu beef that's extremely soft and fatty. OMG salivate.





Horrible but chio complimentary nonsense



Our dessert. Don't like it.



Petit fours. Nice!

Thus concludes the food.



A view of City hall









Mike



I may look glamourous here, but I bet the diners and wait staff didn't think so.

Because the entire night I kept dabbing on my ulcur with...



KENALOG!

Thank god for Kaykay! She recommended me this thing for putting on ulcurs. It seals up your ulcur and lets you eat in peace! It doesn't hurt at all and it's awesome!

Unfortunately due to the location of my ulcur I had to reapply after every course. I bet everyone there who saw me dab my wound must have thought I have severe herpes or something. (WHICH I DON'T)



Accessories for the night



Mike looking happy. Honestly man... I don't see how he can be after eating the Forgotten veggies.







Chio 4.5 inch shoes

AND HORROR OF HORRORS....

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THE BILL




WTF???


We were offered 2 glasses of Champagne initially and we thought it was part of the $500 package we were taking!

But each of the little teeny weeny flute of champagne cost $50!! I didn't even have any coz I don't drink!

I was so bloody upset and guilty about this ridiculously costly dinner and I kept saying 700 bucks can fly us both to Langkawi... But Mike told me to not worry about it as long as I am happy.


WTF MAN! I thought it was gonna be $500, which I already think is waayyyyy too much but unfortunately Mike already booked it.

Nonetheless, we both agreed never to do this again. 14-02-2010, we will be staying at home eating home-cooked laksa.

Somemore the food is not that fantastic. I much preferred it when we went the last time on a normal day and we had the best veal and lobster for WAY cheaper!

Little Chloe's Bdae!!



My cousin's daughter's 1st bdae and she had a fantastic 2-tiered Pooh Bear cake!

It tastes damn nice the top tier is strawberry and the bottom is lychee!

Not that Chloe cares about the taste...



She much prefers to pop her toe into the beautiful cake when being plopped on the table for photos! Hahahaha! :D



Me and my two cousins (girls) and cousin's bf.

I was wearing my MAHJONG tee! It reads "I love Cash" but since the "C" cannot be seen, Ashley, you can take it as my declaration of love for you and your relentless methods of embarrassing me on internet TV. Hahaha!

I can't believe the star is yawning! Everyone is fawning over her and she's bored! Hahaha!

She's soooo cute.

New Fridge!!



Lovely!

Samsung brushed aluminium fridge for only $400 plus!



Old Maggoty fridge banished to Balcony for the time being. (Now disposed of.)



Our fridge stickers



Finally, the end of this cb long blog entry!!!!!!!!!!!


Me with a red poodle puppy:







It is MAD cute and lets me carry it this way with no protest whatsoever.

I can't find the eyes...