Kua simi lan jiao???

Ok the title is horribly vulgar if you can understand it and this is because I'm blogging about the gang issue in Singapore recently!! (Although it's kinda a little over already)

So foreigners will probably not understand this colloquial entry. For those of you who don't know yet, Singapore, typically a very safe country, have had a couple of slashings lately. There was a fatality. And embarrassingly enough, it's done by teenaged gangsters, aka "Ah Bengs".

And they look like that:

Random image I found via google images FTLs if they grew up already and stopped being Bengs.

I can't believe gangs are making a comeback. I remember back in like 1997 or something when it was popular to be an Ah lian or Ah beng with our bleached Wella creme hair ($5.90 or something from Guardian, cheapest hair bleach ever and got 6% or 9% - gives you a tamarin monkey orange like the dude above), MCM bags, pointy combs, neon shirts, giordano yellow windbreakers, cross-back bras, doremon bags and Nokia 8210s with loudass ringtones. Ahhhh, the nostalgia!

I was a chao ah lian then (14 till 16) and I even joined a gang ok!! I think I blogged about this a zillion years ago but my ex boyfriend asked me to join his gang called "Ba hai tong". A week after I joined the girls' division was arrested by the police in its entirety (not including me coz I wasn't an active member). So I asked if that means that I was the leader of the girls division since I was the only one left in it. But they said no. AREN'T U REGRETTING NOW I COULD HAVE RECRUITED SO MANY PEOPLE MUAHAHA

Kidding!! My friends were telling me TECHNICALLY I've not left the gang so I can still be arrested!! LOL

So yeah I can't believe that after years of being totally unheard of, gangs are back in the spotlight and they are KILLING PEOPLE!!

I swear they need to get people to do proper PR for them. I mean look at the Italian mafia - so cool with their filthy money and Brooklyn accents.

Or the Japanese mafia with their deep cultural roots and beautiful women. Ok I made that up but they are cool lah!!

But Singapore "mafia"? Definitely nowhere near cool.

And using what to kill people? Fucking parangs.

Dude, even the name sounds so horrible. It's a knife that's used for CHOPPING TREES IN MALAYSIA. The only weapon gayer is probably a butter knife studded Louboutins sock full of glitter.

Can't they all learn to use butterfly knives or nunchucks or morning stars? First thing to do is to change the weapon.

A morning star says "I'm serious about hurting you"

Second thing to change is the means of transportation.

Apparently when gang members are in need (ie got into staring match with opposing gang), they call for help from other members and they come via... LORRIES.

I imagine those lorries were used to transport durians to and fro in Geylang kind.

Ok I guess this is technically a pickup truck.

NO LOLLIES!! Gang members should appear in Priuses (it's a hybrid car)!

Trust me, an environmentally friendly gang? It sends the message "I'm cool and will kill you but I wanna save this beautiful Earth". People love villains with a soft side.


Third thing our SG gangs should change is the HAIR.

Why all so horribly dyed?? Orangey gold hair just screams "cheap dye job"! Go ahead, threaten a good salon or maybe give them free PR in exchanging for a sponsorship.

How can gangs give PR? Well, during the last slashing they yelled "369" before they ran off right? It was all over the newspapers!!! MAKE USE OF THAT AD SPACE!!!

This time they can yell "HAIR SPONSORED BY PASSION HAIR SALON!!11". Remember to whip your hair back and forth to further emphasize how chio they did your hair for you.

[OK I'm just kidding ok please don't join gangs and slash people it's not worth it to get a death sentence for slashing someone who stared at your fellow gang member wtf.]

Anyway I was at Downtown East that day and I got a mini heart attack everytime I saw a bunch of teenage boys.

A group of my friends were discussing how these gang members bring their 16 inch parangs out without freaking everyone out on the way and someone mentioned that they wrap newspaper around the blade and kiap under the armpit. -_- I hope they not wearing sleeveless if not when they sweat they'd get newspaper print on their pits lol.

So whenever I see teenage boys nowadays I always check to see if they got newspaper with them. Even if they don't I give them a wide berth anyway just in case.

Then I was wondering what I'd do if I had witnessed the slashing of the boy who died. I'd probably run away and call the police. Then I was thinking, if the police came, the boys would probably just run away (remember to give a shoutout to your sponsors!). This is not exciting at all!!

So I beseech the police make use of Singapore's resources. And I'm talking about...

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Jet Li!!

He moved to Singapore for his children's education!!!! JUST IMAGINE IF THE SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE HIRED HIM!!

Just his face (with that above pose, check it out) is enough to make any petty criminal tremble in the knees!!!

When the gang members see him walking towards them (with police behind him in a V formation), perferably dressed in kung fu get-up, they will confirm not run away but be completely stunned.

And taking advantage of their split second distraction, he will sucker punch of all them until they all faint and flail on the ground nursing broken bones, then with this serious face ---

He will ask the victim, "Are you ok?".

After the victim nods, he will deliver a punch backwards to the one silly Ah Beng who got up and tried to attack him from behind.

The police will put everyone in jail and Singapore would be peaceful again!!! How, my plan is good right?

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Join me at CozyCot's 9th Birthday Bash!!

Advertorial

Hello!! I've got good news for you girls!! This Saturday (4th) will be CozyCot's 9th birthday and they are throwing a huge partay!!

And if you wanna meet me in person, I'm gonna be one of their guests along with 5 other stars (Paul Foster, Leena Salim, Andrea Savage and Melissa Faith Yeo).

I reckon the best thing about the bash is the luxury designer bag sale where there are over 150 unique bag designs available for sale!! (there are limited stocks so hurry). You can enjoy up to 70% off brands like Gucci, Prada, Coach and Kate Spade!! Eh somemore you can use a 12-month installment plan for Citibank card holders so broke also must buy lol.

Other than the sale, there will be on-stage demos by hair, makeup and skincare experts so you can definitely learn a thing or two about looking your best.

And I'd be in the BEAUTY TALK SHOW where me and the other, erm, aforementioned stars will be talking about our favourite beauty tips and tricks. ;)

Leena Salim, Shi Xin Hui, Paul Foster and Josiah Leming of TAB will be performing too!

You also instantly shoot and print your photo at the CozyCot Photowall and enjoy the sponsors booths over there.


Hiyah overall it's just that nobody will leave empty-handed!!!

There are hourly lucky draws with instant booth wins, on-stage games, beauty hampers and prizes to be given away. Grand prizes include Sony Ericsson phones, Canon camera and Selphy printer.

Sounds like a fun girls' night out with your bffs?

To register now simply click HERE.

Camqueen of the Year Crowned

Advertorial

Don't know if you guys saw this advert I did for the CamQueen of the Year contest?

Now the contest is finally over and can I say WOW???????

It was definitely a smash hit among Singaporean youth!! The contest generated 4.5 MILLION page views and 400,000 votes cast via facebook!!

CLICK HERE FOR THE CAMQUEEN WEBSITE

Of course, it was a very interesting contest where contestants were urged to send in a photo of themselves before and after a makeover, so everyone was trying to prove that they can doll themselves up the best. And I must say among the contestants were many brave souls who put up their photos at... erm, well not their best. All for the prize of $5,000!

After a super fierce competition, the final winner was crowned *drumroll*:

And she is Tammy Tay!!

In case you are wondering why there's only one photo and the "after" is mysteriously replaced by bottles of Vitamin Orange/Lemon, it is not coz after her makeover Tammy looks like that. It's coz it's a...

TWIST!!!

Surprise! The contest was not judged by how drastically different your makeover made you look, but by your "before" photo. Yes, proving people can look beautiful even in their bare skin.

Like me with no makeup muahaha OK lah fine I did use some photoshopping.

Of course, health is the foundation of all beauty, and you can't be beautiful without being healthy!

Which is why Tammy was chosen, coz her glow and bright eyes say good health :)

Yes I love my make up and all my fake things ie false eyelashes and implants etc, but I also believe that having great skin (and teeth and hair actually) is the most basic rule to looking beautiful.

If you want glowy bright skin - Vitamin C is super vital.

Which can be sought from You c1000 vitamin C drinks!

The powerful little bottles contain a whooping 1000mg of vitamin C each, which your body desperately needs to produce collagen, fight signs of aging, stronger bones and teeth etc. Hiyah the health benefits of Vitamin C is super a lot lah can't be bothered to list them all out. It's awesome that's all!

The worst thing is our body does not retain or produce Vitamin C, which means you need to ingest appropriate amounts of it everyday!

And the easiest (and yummiest) way to to drink loads of You c1000. :D

When I was sick recently I drank like seriously 7 bottles in a day. Helped me recover fast! It's your best friend when you are beginning to fall sick I tell you.

Remember to get your Vitamin C for today!

www.youc1000.com

Wow I'm addicted to the game on the website -_- ... Oh and also, You c1000 will be launching a new APPLE flavour soon!!

I'm excited to try!

Rapunzel Press Junket

Ok this is my favourite song from the Rapunzel: A Tangled Tale soundtrack - sang by Mandy Moore! I embedded it so that you can play the song while you read this post so got more AMBIENCE!!! LOL

So anyway here are the pics from when I went to California to watch Rapunzel way before you mere mortals (MUAHAHA) and to interview the stars!!!

I am in no way paid to write this so it's not an advert.

Flew SQ to LAX... I had a great flight there!

Press stayed at Disneyland Hotel. It's nice!

Day One... Michelle (Phan) came over and we were experimenting with the make-up + costumes etc for the next day's filming (watch video if you haven't already). Before we could finish gossiping I had to leave for the screening of the movie.


I give it... 4.8 stars upon 5!!!!!!!


Rapunzel is my favourite freaking princess!!! OK I might be a shade biased coz I like her long blonde hair. But she's funny and cheerful and just super cute and likeable. The 'prince', for once, is not a goody two shoes handsome dummy but smart and funny and is a... thief! AND HE IS SO HANDSOME WTF.

My favourite in the show HAS to be Pascal the chameleon though. Even though it's mute, it communicates all its emotions through exaggerated expressions and the changing of colours!! CUTE MAX!!

The movie is very fast-paced and makes you laugh, cry (I cried twice especially when I see the King's sad face wtf) and gasp in wonder at the beautifully animated lantern scene. Thousands of floating lanterns in 3D and some are floating towards you!! You can help but wanna try to grab it but end up looking quite idiotic grasping air.

I don't like the villain though... Mother Gothel is damn irritating!!!

The songs are just fantastic too. Who knew Mandy Moore had such a princessy voice??

I didn't really like Princess and the Frog (the last Disney princess movie - poor people... meh) but Rapunzel far outstrips it. It deviates quite a bit from the original Brothers Grimm tale but I love how they changed it. :)

Overall it's super enjoyable. I think everyone should go watch it. All the reviews I've read so far are raving about it.

Day 2 I set out to interview the voice actors and directors!!

Up till today I can't believe I met and spoke to real Hollywood stars wtf!!!

Attire for the day

Woke up super early so I decided to camwhore first!

Oh Pascal, how I love you!! 

So happy they gave us a Pascal toy each. 

Got red and blue Pascals but obviously green is the nicest!! 

(Coz red is angry and blue is sad)

Halloween themed disney

LOL

LOL more

They just can't get his nose right!! Oh wait this one's ok. Hahaha

Press pass

Waiting for my turn inside the stripey tent. There were many (real) tv hosts there too. A lot of pretty girls! *stressed max, not real reporter

Escorted to interview the directors first. They were hidden behind the black cloth!

I'd soon be sitting in that chair talking to them

Yes they are guys doing a princess movie!

Interviewing Donna Murphy who is the voice actress for Mother Gothel. She's hiding inside!

And done... Next up is Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi!!

*FAINTS

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*****TADAH*****

Hahahha... I didn't manage to get pics with the rest of the cast coz we only had a very very limited precise 4 minutes with each group. When I reached Mandy and Zachary I smartened up and skipped the manager to ask the stars directly for a pic while my mic was being fastened.

They were of course really nice (impressive since they were being asked the same questions over and over again since early in the morning I bet) and chirpy and said yes!! Even told me to stand in between them wtf.

I didn't know what I expected but of course there was no paparazzi and there were about 10 people with them, some handling cameras others handling other admin duties etc. It was... strangely normal.

And they were... human. Just like me!!

When I left the manager shouted at me and said "You know you were not allowed to take pictures with them."

I was mortally afraid she'd ask me to delete (I might beg) but she left it at that. Suck on it bitch I got the pic hahahaha! On a side note Mike very angry that Zachary had his hand on my shoulder -_-

Interested to watch the interviews?? Check out the Clicknetwork video HERE!!

I was done for the day!! Back to hotel... Where I met:

Pluto Goofy!! Geez I can't believe I couldn't remember if this is Pluto or Goofy. Getting OLD!

Michelle already arrived at the hotel and she was preparing for filming!!

And I must camwhore with my completed look!!

I don't care what all the naysayers say, I think the 

make up she and I created really looks like Rapunzel's!!

Anyway my camera's soft skin mode got rid of all my drawn on freckles so I had to put more on with photoshop.

With Michelle!

I hate her** her skin is so nice and her nose is so small and her teeth are so white!!! Why so chio?? *Cue Wa meng ti wa meng ti song*


** Michelle's haters are very dumb and would take it literally so just to clarify, that was sarcasm.

Disney princesses FTW

Ok last of the camwhoring shots

Here's Michelle lying on the bed posting up the pictures we took. So efficient!

After that we went for dinner at a restaurant nearby...

Erm I only took one miserable picture of my soup...

And one more of Michelle drinking the same thing.

She changed her blue contacts to brown coz she didn't like the blue ones but she went out with Ariel's red eyebrows!! HAHAHHA She's damn funny love her!!

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Ok this is the end of the pictures from the trip. But because I loved the movie so much, I got inspired to draw some of the stills!!

When I was young (like 10, 11), I used to draw Disney Princesses all the freaking time. My favourite was Ariel!! I remember I had her bedsheets and I drew pictures of the tiny Ariels on the sheets. It was so fun!!!

And I have not drawn anything in like a billion years - forgot how much I enjoyed doing it.

So I just took up a pencil and some blue-tack - just to explain I didn't have an eraser, but blue-tack works too - and started doodling:

What do you think?

Original HERE. I drew it while looking at the original on the computer. It's not traced.

I know right? All this time you thought I was some talentless bimbo.


p/s: Read this again but super fast so you end before the song does HAHAHA

p/p/s: I am deleting all comments from now on comparing my looks and Michelle's. We are not twins, not even same race - no need to compare please. I don't give a shit if you think she looks better or I look better, please keep such tactless opinions to yourself.