Red and Yellow

That's right, I'm red and yellow!

With a title like that you probably think that I dyed my hair red and have yellow skin... But quite the contrary.

I am severely sunburnt and ultra blonde!

Yesterday I went tanning for 2 hours using Banana Boat's NO-SPF-STRICTLY-FOR-PROS tanning oil, and now, Mike said I look like Zoidberg!

That's a lobster from Futurama btw.

I am so red that yesterday, when I went to White sands for dinner, an auntie from a shop commented, in Chinese, "You go sun tanning ah??!"

In a goddamn loud voice.

Trying to be cool and celebrity-like, I merely muttered a grunt and nodded ever so slightly.

She eyeballed me and said "Aiyoh, why tan until like THAT." Then made tsk tsk noises. As if people are not already staring at me!

Hello auntie it is none of your business how lao niang wishes to tan ok! It's my body and I burn it if I want to!

Not that I really want to lah, but I'm just saying!

Anyway the flaming yellow hair and red skin combines to create a really comical effect. I took a picture but I can't be bothered to upload it, so you'd have to wait around for a bit.

Aha! See, I do care about my blog! I tried to make you come back, see!

Anyway back to me being lazy - at least I've got an excuse now. My eyes are all swollen and will not do proper photoshop! AHAHAAHA!

ZOMG!!!!!!!!!

I totally forgot about this and I HAVE to blog it!

I am having the most wondrous
I TOLD YOU SO moment, EVER!

Ever ever!

Lalala I TOLD YA SO I TOLD YA SO!

A filipino reader of mine sent me this:

Nicole now confesses that she
doesn't know if she was raped.


And this:


Nicole received money from Smith and now moved to US
(Where, I presume, she can get all the white cocks she wants).

See? I told you all a trillion years ago that she wasn't raped, didn't I? DIDN'T I?

Now what suckers!?


Read my view ages ago 1

Read my view ages ago 2


613 comments on my blog entry... I presume about 600 are playing the 'nice guy' and harping on how cruel and racist I am.

Again... What now, suckers? Gonna apologize to me and the nice US marine who went to jail for two long years wrongfully???

You know what makes me du lan? I wrote that entry just about before Girls Out Loud was screened. Haters rang up Mediacorp to complain about me after the airing, and one of their complains was that Mediacorp should not be hiring, or endorsing, someone as racist (insert your bad word of choice here) as me.

And this is one of the reasons why Girls Out Loud didn't have a season 2.

WTF right? Turns out I didn't write any wrong at all, did I?

Lil slut... 2 years ago she was so sure she was raped, and said she wanted the death sentence for Smith (From wiki. Go check it if you don't believe me). Can you imagine if she got her wish and he is now dead??

Now suddenly not sure if she was raped!

NABEH NOT SURE DON'T ANYHOW SAY HOR GO AND RUIN PEOPLE'S LIFE!


WTFFFF! Who is going to give back a son to Smith's poor long-suffering mom if he died!?!

She is now appleased coz she got 100,000 pesos from Smith.

I told you already lor... Must be stupid Smith refused to pay her after sex that's why she so du lan go and sue him. Tsk tsk! Whore. Whores have sex with men easily after getting themselves pissed drunk right? Some whores demand money afterwards. Sounds like her.

If I am Smith I will sue her and sue everyone else involved to make sure they pay for their bloody mistake. Nabeh kena jailed for nothing.

Fuck you Nicole. Bloody ruined a little part of my life as well with your dumb attention-seeking lies.

Blah blah blah I am not accepting comments so go and ahead and write insulting ones. They won't be read or published. Woah I am suddenly all riled up and angry.

UPDATE: I've decided to publish comments afterall since most are pretty positive. HAHAHA!