Sticking it in the wrong place

Looking at this picture suddenly reminded me of a conversation I had with Mike yesterday night while we were lolling around before bedtime.

I told him that a doctor friend of mine once told me a doctor story (I love doctor stories) of this cancer patient who had colon cancer or something.

Anyway this guy has to have a hole near his stomach area for his shit to pass through lah, basically.

But time and again that hole (shit I must google the correct word for it. It sounds impressive)...

Found it! Hole's called a stoma. I even know the plural lor... Stomata!

As I was saying... Time and again the stoma gets infected. And guess why?


Because that guy kept having his partner (male) fuck his stoma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IS THAT FUCKING FUNNY OR WHAT!

I mean it's damn disgusting lah, but you gotta give it to this guy - cancer is certainly not enough to deter him from living life to the fullest!

So anyway his partner kept cumming into the stoma (I presume) and causing it to be infected.


I can imagine this conversation between him (cancer patient) and his boyfriend.

CP: I've got something to tell you.

BF: Yeah?

CP: I've got colon cancer.

BF: OMG! Is it because I...

CP: Look, I don't know ok! *distressed* Whatever it is, you can't fuck me there anymore. (Starts sobbing) I... I won't even have an asshole!!!!!!!! What kinda bottom am I???????

BF: Won't have an asshole? Then where would you shit fr...

CP: FROM MY STOMA YOU UNEDUCATED FUCK! I'm going to have a stoma!!!!

BF: What's a...?

CP: IT'S A MOUTH-LIKE ORIFICE THE DOCTORS WILL DIG IN MY BODY!

BF: Mouth-like?

CP: (stops sobbing hysterically) Yes... Mouth-like. What are you trying....

BF: CAN I FUCK IT? I mean... I wanna make love to it. We should all be open and try new things, right? Obviously, only if you are alright with it. Cancer shouldn't stop you from having fun...

CP: ....... Well... I might be too weak to resist your mighty dong then. *coy smile*

AHAHAHAHA!!! Weirdos like that really give all gay guys a bad name.


So anyway, the doctor told the guy in all seriousness that he has to stop fucking the stoma.


When I told Mike this story, I was laughing, but he just looked at me in horror and exclaimed that this is super major disgusting and wished I never inflicted that trauma upon him.

He even said that it is the sort of thing Jeffery Dhamar (Ding dong mass murderer) would do.

I told him the analogy is not correct at all since the fucker wasn't trying to HURT the cancer patient... It's just that ALL MEN LIKE TO STICK THEIR PENISES INTO HOLES!

Any sort of hole lah... Apple pies, goats, anuses, mouths, even in between toes... As long as it's somewhat warm and soft. For necrophiles it doesn't even need to be warm. Or soft come to think of it. But at least they like humans... Unless they are into dead animals???? Omg.

Ahem.

What's so bad about fucking a stoma? It's the same naturalness as a blowjob or anal sex if you think about it. All three are not meant by nature to happen. But I mean, stomata are even more gross lah coz it's like a hole in the stomach... And got shit flowing through... But then again so does an asshole. Ok never mind.

He kept saying humans have evolved and we should know by now we shouldn't fuck goats or babies or stomata for that matter.


But tigers fuck lions (Ligers) and zebras fuck donkeys (Zedonkeys) and I've seen loads of photos of dogs fucking cats etc! I even saw a picture of a dog fucking a pig! The pig was completely oblivious and continued chewing on some food thingy.

Turtle fucking a shoe:



He really sounds like he is exerting loads of force into this...



So who is to say it isn't natural for penises to want to fuck anything that moves??

What do you think? Do you know of any guy (or you) who fucked something weird? Have most straight men tried a tranny blowjob because it is rumoured to be the best blowjobs ever??

Mike insists he won't because it is gay no matter how feminine the tranny looks like, and proceeded to give a little shudder. Cheh... It's just a mouth what. Boy mouth and girl mouth, what's the difference??

Not that I want him to get a tranny blowjob lah, but do you think it's gay to do so? Don't think the word is gay cos most gay men won't want a blowjob from a tranny, right??

Yes I am aware that this blog entry has no point. Just share with me your stories anyway!


p/s: Just in case you were wondering what the dolphin picture has to do with all these, it's because I was wondering if the dolphins fuck each other's breathing hole. It seems like it would be about the right size.

p/p/s: Speaking of goats, why is Aberforth Dumbledore so INTO goats?? He fucks them or what? Is that what JK Rowling was trying to say???



UPDATE: Fuck you, whoever told me to google image what a stoma looks like! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! Ok fuck, now I agree it's fucking disgusting!!!!!!!!! OH MAN!! Whyyyyyyyyyy!! Why you ask me to google???????!!!